A day in the life of a zoid pilot
by Cactus
Summary: My humor fic.
1. Watch out for flying Jamies

A documentary on the Zoids characters  
  
By Cactus  
  
In this documentary we will discuss the habits of the rare and elusive zoid pilot. To do this we must first find a zoid pilot. Zoid pilots travel in large mechanical life forms, which they seemed to have tamed many years ago; these "zoids" are often sacrifice to their gods in ritualistic fights often called "Zoid battles". Now to find a zoid "team," the zoid pilot living group.  
  
[Inside the hover cargo]  
  
"Hey dad where are we going?" asked Leena.  
  
"I'm racing my hover cargo against Dr. Layon's Whale King."  
  
"What happens if we lose?" asked Bit who was listing from somewhere.  
  
"Eh. We lose some money."  
  
"MONEY. How much. I'll do anything for money!" asked Brad coming out of nowhere.  
  
"How much money dad?"  
  
"All of it."  
  
"Oh ok" says Leena calmly as she leaves the room.  
  
"Where's Jamie?" asked Bit.  
  
"I'm Jamie! Watch me FLY!" Jamie jumps out of conveniently placed window.  
  
"JAAAMMMMMMIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Bit yells very loudly.  
  
"Is that necessary?" asked Brad.  
  
"Yes"  
  
~A loud thud is heard~  
  
[Back outside]  
  
"Owww" says host guy before passing out.  
  
Host unconscious, Jamie out cold, and Brad stealing their money. Voice off screen (VO) "We'll be right back after these messages"  
  
"Ahh the voices are back!" yelled Brad.  
  
Harry Champ, " Do you smell really bad? Do you? Well I did until I found this new miracle placebo that can cure stench easily."  
  
VO, "And were back."  
  
"The voices!!!!!" yelled Brad.  
  
"What voices?" questioned Leena.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Exactly"  
  
"Ok.. You know you should really- "  
  
"Hey guys I think we hit someone."  
  
"Really?" asked Leena.  
  
"Yeah, Lets take him and Jamie into the base."  
  
"Ok"  
  
Leena and Bit drag the host and Jamie into the base. Brad stays behind.  
  
"Hello little leprechaun. Ahhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!"  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
There is my story.  
  
Yeah its probably stupid but I was Bored.  
  
If you want me to continue review  
  
  
  
Cactus 


	2. Living with monkeys

Living with monkeys  
  
By Cactus  
  
VO- Welcome! If you are still reading this you win 1,000,000 dollars, worth of pudding, flavored flan, substitute*. OK now back to the Documentary.  
  
*Jamie, Host dude, and Brad are in infirmary*  
  
"Huh where am I?" asks the newly awakened host.  
  
"You're awake, now start breakfast!" yelled Bit.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Good you're awake. (Whispers to Bit) 'Not yet we'll make him work tomorrow'" said Doc.  
  
"OK" Bit yells loudly.  
  
"You're in the Toros Base."  
  
"Is this a zoid team?"  
  
"Yes this is my zoid team, which somehow always wins everything!"  
  
"Oh yeah, aren't we in a race?" asked Bit.  
  
Beep. Beep. The videophone pops up. Its Dr. Layon  
  
"Three of my whale king's engines burned out and we went into a tail spin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died. Except for me. So I guess you guys win."  
  
"Even Gongon the wonder monkey with a slight drinking problem?" asked Bit.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No! I loveded you Gongon! I loveded you! WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY- I'm gonna make a pie."  
  
"So how much money do we get?"  
  
"3 dollars"  
  
"That's all you have?"  
  
"Yeah. I liked hookers ok!?"  
  
Hangs up phone.  
  
"Ok back to me now." Says the host.  
  
"Do you want to join our team?"  
  
Leena appears out of nowhere, "Do you think we should let him join I mean we know nothing about him. He might not even have a zoid."  
  
"Aww, but all the other fics let random people join the team."  
  
"Well, ok but at least interview him first."  
  
"Ok"  
  
"So do you have a zoid?" asked Doc  
  
"No." replied the host.  
  
"Can you pilot a zoid?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Did you attend college?"  
  
"No"  
  
"High school?"  
  
"I attended Pickerington High school."  
  
"So no schooling then"  
  
"Pretty much"  
  
"Well we will now make our verdict you are."  
  
VO "Now for our commercial Break"  
  
Brad wakes up "THE VOICES!!!!!!!" falls unconscious again.  
  
"Hi I'm Jack Cisco! I'm doing this message free (Yeah right) because I love poop soda brand candy so much (It makes me want to vomit) Buy some today (Don't do it candy made from sawdust with tiny mind controlling devices that-) bang bang bang *Jack falls on ground. Guy polishing gun walks to camera, "Buy Poop soda brand candy today" Bang  
  
Vo "We're Back!"  
  
"-In"  
  
"Ok but why did you stand there for two minutes not saying anything?"  
  
"That guy got bit by a leprechaun." Doc says pointing at Brad.  
  
'Hah this will give me the perfect chance to study them from the inside. Just like the Girl and the Monkeys!' thought the host.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Ok  
  
I need a name for the host  
  
The Pickerington thing is Pickerington OHIO. I did it because they're our rivals.  
  
Cactus  
  
*Expect prize never 


End file.
